Sunday, November 18, 2012

"You're not small. You're beautiful."

Yesterday, I spent some time with Melissa in Newport and while we were there, we went to see The Perks of Being a Wallflower

No words. Almost.

I loved it. It was poignant but elegant, honest but gentle, difficult but careful. It describes the lives of a group of misfit high school students who really aren't misfits but who are caught up in difficult situations that are even more difficult to talk about. And I recognized it so well.

I recognized things in the main character that reflect myself at his age, directly. I hadn't realized until then how much of myself and my experiences I have blocked out of my psyche, because they are so difficult and sometimes they are awful and scary, but also because they don't reflect me anymore. My heart was his heart. My spinning mind was his spinning mind. His expression didn't match my expression exactly, but still...we express similar things in staggeringly different ways. It's survival.

After watching, all I wanted to do was stare at Cincinnati across the river. And touch everything carefully, because everything is fragile and breakable. And look for Jupiter, and the rest of the universe. And sip on a brilliantly crafted Kentucky Manhattan. And hold the hand of the frightened girl I used to be. And be held. And be honest. And grow.

So things are about to change, again. There will always be growing pains, because I will always be growing. I am thankful for grace, wherever I don't deserve it. I am thankful for community, wherever I can find it. I am ever-changing, ever-moving, ever-learning. And I won't stop.

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Neither and Nor

Romans 8:38 NBV (New Becca Version)

For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor present, nor future, nor Angels, nor Demons, nor depth, nor height, nor situation, nor trial, nor tribulation, nor election, nor candidate, nor partisan, nor bigot, nor judgment, nor feminist, nor activist, nor alarmist, nor racist, nor sexist, nor Socialist, nor Communist, nor Capitalist, nor Democrat, nor Republican, nor Libertarian, nor popular vote, nor electoral vote, nor speculation, nor Prosecuting Attorney, nor President, nor proposal, nor talent, nor blindness, nor heartbreak, nor secession, nor division, nor deadline, nor ailment, nor addiction, nor tears, nor laughter, nor conversation, nor conversion, nor accusation, nor voice, nor frustration, nor separation, nor anything even slightly resembling the events recently surrounding and penetrating my life and the lives of those around me-- could possibly keep us from the matchless love of Christ.

Moving on, then.