Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Eight Week Win

I figured I'd get out of August with a bang, as well as herald the 8th week of my non-depression. So, currently, I'm living in Shaw Hall at MSU in a not-too-shabby little room. It's just the right size for me and my guitar, and half of my wall space is taken up by windows facing north and west. Bring on the sunset, baby, and the cross-breeze...because it's hot as Hades in East Lansing.

My dad sent me a quote today over email (from Albert Einstein, whom he referred to as one of my 'brethren'-another reason why my dad is a keeper) and it reads:

"If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X+Y+Z, where X
is work, Y is play, and Z is keep your mouth shut."
-- Albert Einstein

He said that he thought it was cute, if not true. Personally, no offense to the great AE, I wouldn't be half as successful as I am right now if I had been keeping my mouth shut. Now, he probably meant to keep your mouth shut in situations where it would be most prudent to do so, such as during a lecture, while arguing with an idiot, while feeling insubordinate and full of angst, while concentrating on solving the Schroedinger equation, or perhaps while traveling at nearly the speed of light. In my life, though, I certainly wouldn't be published in the field of nuclear physics yet and most definitely would not have had my summer job in stellar astrophysics research if I had been shy and kept my mouth shut. Because I believe that my mouth has a lot to offer, and it's proven itself quite able in the past semester or so, considering all of the things that had been trying to pull me down.

Success can be defined many different ways. Mine is defined by opening my mouth at the right time. So, thanks for the quote, Einstein (and dad), I'll make sure to work as hard as I can, play as often as I have time, and keep my mouth shut unless opening it will make my life that much more enriched. Sound advice, for somebody who can think as abstractly as Einstein; and for my mind as well, which has always been a little bit different.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

We'll Get There

Typical week in the life, it hasn't been. Instead, it's been a wonderful dose of holiday and saturated fat, in the best possible way, of course.

I'm finding it interesting, on the dawn of my 51st day depression-free, that I have never been so enthused about investing in the lives of people as I am now, or at least, as I have been this week and last. For instance...

Monday: A post traffic-jam lunch out with an old friend turned into a pilgrimage through each and every book, home furnishing, and cookware shop that Eastwood has to offer. And during this journey, conversation thickened with the realization that we both share the same opinion regarding my hometown. Now, this doesn't seem like such a big deal, but when you try to tell the average Williamston family that there might, just might, be something invisibly toxic about their town, well. Let's just say, it doesn't go very far. It was a Monday well spent indeed.

Now, that was just Monday. Tuesday and Wednesday both turned out to be replete with conversation and exploration...with trading marbles and painting clubhouses and legos and hot soup and creative card-making. And after all of that, I sat down with three particularly wonderful friends, on separate occasions, on one single glorious day; and all three of them fed into me as I fed into them. Individually, we weaved our colors into each other's, and things got brighter inside of almost-fallen tears. And then, we slept.

So, although I woke to find an unfortunate scratch and painted dent on the side of my car from a kind and honest stranger, I was left with something else. Something a little better, I daresay. I think, after a day or so of letting it all sink in, that I was left on more solid ground than even the night before. That because of these individuals and more, I am surrounded by understanding nods, squeeze-the-life-out-of-me embraces, listening ears, intelligent minds, and brave souls. Genuinely remarkable human beings. Do you understand? This is something to value, and I do! I do. Most ardently.

The rest of the day has been spent doing one thing or another, mostly packing up my mess of a place to sleep at my parents' house. I've to go and finish that now, or at least continue. Until next time, then.


Friday, August 20, 2010

Back to Basics

So, blogosphere, I just watched Julie&Julia for the first time. For those of you who have seen the film or read the book, you understand why I am currently feeling reinvigorated and re-inspired to put finger to keyboard. Julie's journey through cyberspace and reality reminded me of my own journey, mostly the journey that I've taken through cyberspace. Reality remains up and coming, and those are stories for another day.

For now, cyberspace.

I remember my first LiveJournal, which ended abruptly when I decided that I needed something less full of angst and different colored fonts. My life was taking me slowly through adolescence, and I didn't want to sound like a child to the rest of the digital world. So, I took up this blog. March of 2005, and I was fourteen. Five years. Can you believe it?

To my pleasant surprise, I ended up meeting several people from around the globe. We followed each other's lives, groping along as if we were climbing a staircase in the dark; we couldn't see one another but we felt the days going by in the shoes of a wireless friend. There were the spunky and wildly fun Dutch twins Lena and Dina, strong and capable activist Nettie, friendly and supportive Maurice, warm and wonderful Melissa, and several others salted and peppered here and there throughout my typed-up existence.

To this day, over five years later, I still am in communication with some of these people. In fact, I had the pleasure of driving down to Kentucky this summer to visit Melissa's inviting home and spend an absolutely lovely day with her. Sometimes the greatest friendships come from unlikely places, I've found.

Now, somewhere along the line, the blogging fad fizzled out and so did these cross-comment-induced friendships. I used to write one post, sometimes two posts, every day and could expect at least one comment within the hour or so. I do miss it, but maybe if a blogger can get one or two good friends from the experience, it was well worth it. I think so.

So, maybe my blog will never be as big as Julie's, certainly it won't! I do, however, feel that this experience has and is allowing for readers, known or unknown, to experience a layer of me that is usually unseen. I value that. It's one of those things that make me smile. So this is why I continue to write, however infrequently or frequently, and I will for as long as my fingers will move quickly enough.

Until next time, my traditional, nonsensical sign-off: