Sunday, August 30, 2009

I've Been British RTed?

These past few days have been filled with incredibly good news. Elaborate? Nah. Nothing of substance is really actually going on in my life for once. If I tried, though, substance would show up. I'm not worried. It'll be here soon.

Here's the thing. I'm getting up early tomorrow to move back to the university, which sounds like love at first sight to me. Living there is like living in an asylum in the best possible way. That is why I must go.

For example, I dropped by yesterday and in the twenty minute span of me being in Holmes Hall, SO many ridiculous shenanigans took place. Long story short, I learned a very valuable lesson: do not attempt to use toilet paper that has been accidentally doused in scented oil. And then I'm left asking why these things ALWAYS happen to me...but really? I love my hilarious existence. A friend told me yesterday that I lived such an adventurous life while she had worked all summer, and I responded by pointing out that I've no money to show for all of my adventure. Looking back, though, I'd much rather have adventure than cash. So lets see how long I last with that mentality.

On a new subject though, I was explaining my hectic fall schedule to another friend, and like most people after hearing that list of nincompoopery, she asked if I wanted to kill myself, as if I made the rules for the university and had a personal death-wish. I said yes; and the sooner the better.

Obviously, I was kidding. But what am I doing all of this for? I've been flippantly telling people that, no, I'm not going to work for NASA--NASA will work for me. That's the plan. And I see no reason why not.

But then I realize how little I know. How hard I've been working and how much harder I must work. How much strife is worth it? How do I measure success, because I certainly don't measure it like the rest of the world seems to. Not deep down.

So here's the real answer. If you want to know what in the world I'm going to do with an Astrophysics doctorate, why the hell I am in love with Ireland so much, why I didn't choose music school over science school, why I've awakened the activist in me, here's why:

It makes me happy. This is the closest thing to fulfillment that I can find; everything that I do I have at least a little reason for doing. However I don't and shouldn't have a concrete plan for life; that's silly. I have a general outline that looks like a ball of yarn. It goes in a million directions but it comes together into a semi-perfect sphere. What is life if you can't enjoy at least a portion of the ride? It doesn't have to make sense. I do what makes me happy.

See, nothing of real substance here. Can't make this mean anything today, but like I said, I'm not worried. Substance is near. Stay tuned.


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