Wednesday, April 29, 2009

How Much, How Fast

I'm kicking Facebook to the curb for the time being, even though this note will still filter in to it automatically. Don't let it fool you. Crystal changed my password, anyway, so I couldn't get on even if I really wanted to.

Figured I should write something; it's been a whole twenty days. (GASP) I know. Truth is, I've been so busy with and without school that...I don't even know what to tell you. Here's the thing. In 26 minutes, I'm going to my last chemistry lab. I only have to work my job for three more shifts, that's twelve and a half more hours, that's a lot of dishes and salad. At 9:15 on Tuesday night, my work jeans will turn into my newest pair of summer shorts. It's exciting.

I guess I realized that I'll have to come to terms with not being awesome all the time. Sarcastically, really. It's possible to rock at something and suck at it later; likewise, it's possible to suck at something and rock at it later. It's all in the variables, people. All in the variables.

But I think that every time I got a little green box, every time I picked up a glitter glue pen, every time I printed off a photo, every time I printed off a paper, every time I smelled my little pink carnations, every time I check something off of my window-marker to-do list, every time I laugh so hard that it hurts...these are the small victories that have come to define and inspire my life. So what if I can't focus on the big picture? I want the small things. The important things. The things that help me deal, the things that help me survive.

I want sunburns. Pianos. Tension rods. Laughter. A severe lack of Chemistry lab and Physics. Flowers. Friendships. Anything that gives me a reason to roll off of the futon in the morning. Anything.

I am so in hate, so in love with this.


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