Today is technically the last day living fully in my parents' house and I'm in love with this concept. Finally, I am about to taste the freedom I've been yearning for, be it equivalent or different from the way I have pictured it. I have siphoned out of my room most of my material posessions and have made it quite clear that I intend to...oh for crying out loud. I sound like a liberated, bombastic buffoon.
But I am. :]
I have, however, been thinking a little. I think I might leave my past behind me now and start fresh. It sounds cliche, but I am determined to find enlightenment and closure. This is the blank script to which I am allowed to write my own magnificent play. Why should I stick to every little detail that I have planned thus far? I should know by now that making plans is futile; the more I make, the more obstacles blockade my intended path.
So really, being an Astrophysics major just makes me sound intelligent. I am intelligent, but I know where my heart really lies. I am an Astrophysics major because I refuse to abandon my intellect or desire to learn. I am an Astrophysics major because I want the sky. I want to understand it; I want to explore it and feel its majesty. I want to solve its mysteries. I want to have the ability to wrap my mind around what others cannot, and then take comfort in teaching and explaining.
But then again...my heart lies on stage. I am an actress because I am always happy while portraying somebody else. I am an actress because I feed upon the energy of an audience. I am an actress because I am damn good at it. I want freedom and I find it there.
There is no reason why I cannot do both. I intend to do both. Astrophysics for a carreer, theatre for the ecstasy. Pulling double-shifts have worked so far, but truth be told? My grand scheme is nothing compared to what my life will actually be. If I have to abandon these precious ambitions to an extent, I will be just fine. To be honest, I'd be content living alone in the country, city, suburbs. I'd be happy staying in any place with a theatre down the road and a million stars at night. After all, that's all I wanted in the first place.
As for plans? Rubbish. I have ideas now, not plans. My idea is this: I'll dance to the music that my life composes, improvising the entire time.