Saturday, November 24, 2007


This is funny in every way.

Funny ha-ha and funny weird.

However, Becca enjoys floating in a world of ignorance, because she was told how much ignorance is bliss. Bliss isn't life, but bliss is what she subconsciously clings to as steadfastly as geese flying south-only she's not sure of her destination.

Maybe destination hasn't anything to do with it, but she thinks it has everything to do with it.

Especially since her Celtic Knot is inching closer and closer to her neck each day; she is flirting with strangulation ever so dangerously. If she were a horse and Ireland a carrot, well, she'd be chasing the carrot, if that makes any sense. She's so desperately and helplessly in love with that country, and now the hope of going back is so thick and hot that she can't help but dissolve into it and live in her dream world for just a moment. Oh, for December the 26th to bring back those emerald fields and that icy-blue sky--those fluffy clouds and Irish eyes smiling. For her to see the freckles dance upon the noses of her Irish family...well. How theatrical. She will just have wait and see what miracles await her--she's certainly seen many.

However, Becca can't hardly handle those who call her family in America. This entire ordeal, brought on by those she had wondered about her whole life, is now left in her hands. Becca's entire future with these people depends on what she wishes to do, but really. After Charlie Brown closed, there wasn't much of an opportunity to see them. What to do now? Invite them to Fame? She thinks not. The spring play? Not sure they'd approve of little Lauren seeing that one, from what she heard.

Oh well. Time will tell, time heals, give her time.

For now, she'll cling to whatever she sees that is genuine.

Even as she walks through her dimly-lit home clad in holiday decor, the "Screw this, we're going to Jerusalem (or, respectively, Ireland)" attitude fades a bit. She's not sure why. Perhaps the cynic in her is shutting up, for once. How absolutely lovely!


Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Twisted Color Scheme

I'm coming to some realizations that are not important by any means.

  1. I am so thankful.
  2. People wear facades made of stainless steel.
  3. Hope and possibility are dangling in my face and it's driving me nuts.
  4. E-Town is back in town!..and others.
  5. I Am My Own Wife is a fantastic piece of theatre.
  6. I shall attempt to allow myself to enjoy certain elements of a guilt-free existence.
  7. Things trigger things.
  8. I am a relatively awful daughter.
  9. The need to leave is tugging on my heart, but those who will be left behind are tugging as well.
  10. I am happy today, and I'm not particularly sure why.


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

God Help You If

I've lived seventeen years of dancing to the beat of my own drum, and for what? To be able to watch my friends follow along and fall behind where I've followed along and fallen behind. Perhaps I'm giving myself too much credit, but as I look back on the years of maturing and pruning, I can't help but wonder if I've grown up a bit faster.

My trouble-making only extended from 13-15, respectively. At least, my trouble-making on a large enough scale. I've never been very much into the things that most people think teens are obsessed with, but I have my shortcomings and I have my downfalls. These things were most prominently and, I believe, most severely displayed over the course of years 13, 14, and 15. However, despite the tactics of a few of my peers, I never found it necessary to make my problems so...public.

Yes, I did confide in a number of people, mostly the wrong sorts of people. I never wanted, though, to make my life experiences seem like regular high school drama, because they never seemed like it and still don't seem like it to this day. Theatrical at times, yes, but never drama. I've never taken comfort in creating relationships, breaking those relationships, then crying over my circle of friends while shoveling ice cream in my face screaming a refrain such as "Everybody hates me" or "My life sucks because he doesn't love me". This phase, encountered by some, I have skipped over.

Who am I, though, to presume that my baggage is any heavier than anybody else's? It's ignorant to think like that. It's ignorant of my peers and it knocks them down while elevating me higher in my own mind. Perhaps I think this way because I am so consumed with what I have locked away or preserved for a precious few that I completely ignore the conscious minds of my peers. I completely disregard the fact that a lack of understanding does not constitute a lack of pain, on my part and theirs. The "loop" that I so often shrug off is proving to be bigger that I have ever imagined.

I am said to be an individual who highly regards her peers, who regards them even above herself. However, with the sort of thinking and misunderstanding that I display, how can I be selfless? How can I relate? How can I even be human? Can I?


I re-united with an old friend today under the pretext of a murder in her hometown. I wish I would've just called her for no reason instead of waiting for one.


Saturday, November 10, 2007

Rehearsal Tights

I think it's been an interesting Opening Week.

ACT I-Monday

SCENE ONE: Becca enters SR running at 100 mph towards Amy. She jumps for Amy, misses, and smacks her knee on the corner of a desk.

Becca: Wow, I just smacked the crap out of my knee cap. That really does blow, but oh well. (Exit DR)


SCENE TWO: Becca enters SR into English class. She is happy for a full ten minutes. Suddenly, she feels dizzy, which is normal when she hits her knees. However, this time, she broke out in a cold sweat and blacked out.

Jeanie: Becca...?

Becca lays on the floor, Jenny leaves to get ice.


SCENE THREE: Rehearsal. Becca enters SR (again) with a huge bee-hive ice pack stuck to her knee with a plethora of masking tape. Rehearsal continues as normal for the rest of the week.


ACT II-The Teasers

SCENE ONE: Cast enters St Mary's K-8 School. Becca accidentally almost runs into the men's room. Cast changes into costumes almost directly in front of the Catholic priest. St. Mary's children file in and laugh uproariously at everything. End of teaser, kids ask questions.

JB: Okay, who has a question for the cast?

Tommy raises hand.

JB: You, sir? What's your name?

Tommy: T...Tommy?

JB: Hi, Tommy, what's your question?

Tommy: Umm....That!

Tommy hides behind his teacher. Cast wants to take him home.


SCENE TWO: Cast enters the Cappuccino Expresso. Abbey and Emily are UC. Cast sits in a pod around a single table and sings show tunes as loud as humanly possible. Cast exits DC. Cast gallivants around town distributing flyers for Friday's show.


SCENE THREE: Cast anxiously awaits the Middle School teaser, which goes incredibly well, all things considered. Later, cast anxiously awaits the High School teaser, which goes well too.


SCENE FOUR: Cast enters the Elementary School and plays "four square" with seven people. Elementary kids thoroughly enjoy the show. Cast is incredibly high-energy because of the laughter response. Bryan is asked by one of the kids if he likes chicken nuggets.


ACT III- Performing

SCENE ONE: OPENING NIGHT! Cast enters the house. A few minor things, but none that they could not handle. Crowd response is spectacular. Show is successful.


SCENE TWO: The Pizza Hut tradition gets twisted. Cast re-locates to Old Chicago because of a lack of dough. Cast, Pit, and Crew accidentally run into JB at Old Chicago, but no catastrophe occurs.


SCENE THREE: Cast continues performing until Sunday evening. :)