Two words keep coming to my mind and I haven't been able to put my finger on why. The first is "escape" and the second is "rescue". Well, as far as I'm concerned, I suck at escaping and I don't need to be rescued, so obviously these words are describing somebody else.
Words that could describe me right now might be "frustrated" or "done". Not in the emo-gothic suicidal way. "Done" as in 'I'm done with school' and 'I'm done with listening to this family talk but never say anything' and 'I'm done caring' and 'I'm done!' The frustrating part? Eh. Doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things. Somewhere in the grand scheme of things, I'm supposed to go to Ireland. So I am. But wait...when did I get the crazy idea that I could do that? Lest we forget that not all of us can even afford to grow up; just simple rights of passage that should be a given in this country. "Frustrating" is alive and well.
Sometimes I feel as if I've reached the end of the sanity rope, but then I remember the days in which I have been further down the hole than now. I've actually climbed quite a ways...except for the fact that somebody put crisco on my rope and it's pretty damn slippery. I guess I should be used to 'slippery' by now, but perhaps feelings are simply invalid.
At least I applied for a passport, but everything that goes wrong is still my fault, apparently. It might be, but now is not the time for a self-evaluation. I have a piano recital tomorrow and haven't a clue what I'm going to play (except for the song with Casey). Perhaps I should figure that out. Or...maybe I'll dazzle everybody by making something up on the spot. I could do that. For the first time (well...since middle school), I tried out for Madrigals and made it. Turns out, though, I had to drop it because of scheduling. At least Bragle is letting me sing in Bel Canto for extra curricular. What a man. And Kelsey is letting me take Jazz even though I'll have Bel Canto on tuesdays. What a lady.
Goes to show that people have got my back even for the slightest situations. Ireland opportunities continue to flow in as I continue to work harder. Somehow, I have a hunch that this will all be worth it in the end. Somehow.