Saturday, April 07, 2007

Fear of Death: Check Check Check

I've done nothing all day but sit around and clean the house. People are coming over tomorrow for Easter.

Easter... which means that I'll be aroused at some unGodly hour to "hunt" for my basket... my basket that I've completely lost interest in and will probably be filled with things that will later clutter my room. Oh well, it's candy. Then I'll drag myself to church dressed in whatever concoction I decide to put on, listen to a service that is not designed for people who are already Christians, drag myself back home, eat lots of food, and drag myself onto the DDR mat to burn it off.

I do enjoy Easter, really, I do. I can hang out with my cousins for the first time since Christmas...but really this is mainly just nincompoopery.

Hopefully I can get the money in time to get a spot. Hopefully Wally is down with my under-agery. Hopefully it was God telling me that he wanted me to find him. I think it was, because what else would give me that kind of reaction? Maybe scene four of RENT. That's about it.

But this is no broadway musical, kid, this is real life. I always seem to forget about that. Real life seems so boring sometimes... so I like to spice it up with fantasies of Dalip Singh being my own personal body guard, and somehow landing in the hospital so I don't have to go to band camp.

So pipe dreams are normal. It's scary when I try to put them into reality, and I get ahead of myself. That's all, I guess.

But the thing is... if I go, I'll find something. I just know it. Then, perhaps, I will have the strength to get through band camp. :) That's the philosophy here.

Oh, and for the love of everything good and holy, if my friggen blog makes you "depressed" then just don't read it. Snowy April days are bad enough. I don't need people prancing around telling me how "depressing" my online journal is. Good grief, you al kill me. :)


1 comment:

Melissa said...

How I live in my mind and oh how I try to make things real when they are so not, I pray that this is very REAL for you and in the best way...I will also pray that you will start getting more out of Easter...and your blog NEVER makes me's delicious!