Thursday, January 04, 2007

The Second Post of Hell Month

In the midst of the many decision-making processes I am in, I haven't reached any verdicts yet.

I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living.

I am also sitting here writing this here post when I should probably be going over Physics review...

I dreamed that love would never die... I dreamed that God would be forgiving.

...because apparently we have to take our Physics final early because the finals schedule was switched to overlap the Florida trip.

Then I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made, and used, and wasted.

...and you thought THEY would be the ones grumbling?

There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung, no wine un-tasted.

I'm not ready.

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder

As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame.

So I guess I signed up, stupidly. I should really learn that horn duet. First, I think, I should learn the vocal solo. Actually, before that, I should decide whether or not I want to do it.

He slept a summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonder.

And then, consequently, sucker Casey and Shelby in with me.

He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when Autumn came.

And let Mary, Courtney, and Vinnie off the hook.

And still I dream he'll come to me, and we will live the years together.

Sometimes, though, in the middle of all my laziness, I know that I'm scared. I really don't want to do this. At all. Crazy busy. That's all I can say about my life.

But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather.

So perhaps I should stop dreaming and start doing. That's the difference, the big difference, between those who succeed and those who fail.

I had a dream my life would be so different from the life I'm living.

But alas, I know not where to start. I only know that on January someteen, I take finals.

So different now from what it seemed...

Directly after most of my finals, I leave for Florida. Directly upon my return, I go straight to Les Mis practice.

...Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

I want out.


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